Sunnie Yi Ning ’18
Assistant News Editor
On March 22, the International Airport in Brussels, Belgium was attacked by ISIS terrorists. In response, the forerunning Republican candidate Donald Trump proposed to send U.S. citizens to Mars, a newly discovered potentially habitable place for the humans. Ted Cruz, the Republican alternative to Donald Trump, objected and proposed instead to send all the Muslims and Mexicans to Mars instead.
In an interview with Trump, he said he’d “send the U.S. population to Mars … until we figure out what’s going on.”
“We have to be smart in the United States,” Trump said. “We have many dangerous people among us. We don’t know where they are coming from, we don’t know where they’re from, who they are … They could be ISIS, they could be ISIS-related. The only way we solve the problem would be to move the safe people to a safe place for protection.”
Previously he agreed to a manned Mars plan, responding that it is “wonderful” but he needs to “fix American roads and bridges first.” The Brussels attack obviously terrifies the Republican candidate and made him changed his mind. But certainly, if he sends all the safe people in the United States to Mars, there is no need to fix the infrastructure, so that still sounds like a legitimate plan.
When asked whether he will move to the Mars with the U.S. people, Trump answered, “I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. We’ve had years of the worst kind of scenarios on earth you can imagine. Oh my God, I can’t believe it. If I’m being honest, I mean, if I’m being honest. I would move the Trump Organization to Mars. That way we have a business and a real America on Mars.”
Cruz, the other Republican candidate, objected to Trump’s plan, saying it’s “stupid” and “insulting.” Cruz proposed to send all Muslims and Mexicans to Mars instead.
In a statement, he said, “We need to immediately halt the flow of refugees from countries with a significant Al Qaeda or ISIS presence. And the most efficient way to do it is to send them all to Mars, all at once. We need a cohesive plan to stop infiltration into the United States. And we need to execute a coherent campaign to utterly destroy ISIS. Sending them to Mars is going to be effective. Our country is at stake.”
When answering how confident he is to beat Donald Trump, Ted Cruz responded, “I’m going to beat him. Donald Trump will not be the nominee.”
Both of the plans are tangible and can solve the problem of terrorism once and for all. For now, it is hard to tell which of the two plans are more likely to win the favor of Republican voters.
I think that Donald Trump has displayed his fascinating charms as a trustworthy candidate in this round of competition. His proposal will not only finally stop the infiltration of terrorists into the United States, but also make the United States the first country to take over Mars. Of course, this would mean that he himself would accomplish the remarkable feat of becoming the first president on Mars. On the other hand, the earth would probably not be able to survive without the influential and peaceful United States under the leadership of Donald Trump; but that is beyond what he needs to worry about.
Compared to him, Ted Cruz looks like a petty copycat. Also, sending the Muslims and Mexicans to Mars would cost more money, give them the precious resource on Mars that they don’t deserve and potentially provides them opportunity of a comeback. Furthermore, the United States would still have to compete with other countries on this earth who are stealing jobs away from the United States – China, Japan, India, etc.
Even for this one policy alone, my loyalty for Trump is secured. I encourage you to do the same by doing a pledge with your right arm raised. “I do solemnly swear that I, no matter how I feel, no matter what the conditions, if there are hurricanes or whatever, will vote for Donald J. Trump for President.”
Don’t forget your right hand, and don’t forget this great plan of Mars!