All Hail President Trump

Emily Kowalik ’18
Assistant Opinions Editor

With every passing stateprimary, Donald Trump comes closer to becoming the Republican nominee for President. With such a longed-for event almost confirmed, I thought it would be nice to go back and delve into nostalgic moments to remind us why we all want Trump as our nominee.

Trump’s style of speaking, which I would characterize as somewhere between middle- and elementary-school literacy level, brings us back to the days of George W. Bush’s administration. It is really a brilliant oratory move on Trump’s part. Who doesn’t love a leader of the United States, and indeed the free world, who is so adorable, stammering so incoherently that it leads them all to believe he couldn’t successfully place a pizza order, let alone run the country?

The next thing we all love about our man Trump is his wealth of ideas for creating a better nation. The foremost in his treasure trove of insightful domestic policy innovations is the plan to build a wall between the United States and Mexico and have the Mexican people pay for it – what a barn burner!

Incredulous people within the anti-Trump cohort said that the American people should be concerned, not only by the unfeasibility and expense of this plan, but also by the fact that Trump has obviously not developed this plan beyond a two- sentence sound byte. I say, who needs a full-fledged plan when it is so much more exciting to grasp onto a knee-jerk, juvenile assertion and see where it takes us during the next four years?

Isn’t it enough to say that we want to get rid of Obamacare – the evil, communist system that has allowed more Americans to have medical insurance than ever before? Why would it be necessary to give a more comprehensive reason than to say that a law with Obama in its title must go, with no question as to the implications of removing this historic legislation?

When it comes to creating a platform on which to run, the American people aren’t looking for painstakingly well-reasoned and complex plans that will address real issues. They are looking for plans, such as Trump’s idea to tackle illegal immigration, consisting of two two-word phrases. Aren’t “mass deportation” and “building walls” explanatory enough?

Trump embodies so much of what the American people wish to see in their candidate. He has none of that toxic experience in running a government that one gains by holding public office. He has a conceited, bullying, belligerent manner; what more than cockiness does a man negotiating on behalf of the American nation need to present our best possible image? Those insults he threw at Megyn Kelly and the vengeful lawsuits he threatened – pure gold!

What we need for this country is a president who bullies and badgers, then threatens to sue when he doesn’t get his way. We need a man who is so convinced of his own intelligence and correctness that he never considers anyone else’s point of view. We don’t want a president who sees complex issues as grey areas with no right or wrong answers; we want one that makes statements, rather than plans, such as “build a wall” and “no Obamacare.” Why would the president of the United States ever need the ability to ingratiate himself with others or work toward compromise? I say that, once Trump becomes president, he should just steamroll Congress, foreign nations and the American people and see what happens.

Trump himself is such a towering, impressive figure that we don’t need details of wide-ranging, well-considered platform of his would-be presidency in order to support him. The hair, the lack of articulation, the arrogance, the bankruptcies and the confident swagger all work to convince us that this man has all the necessary qualities to be the leader of one of the most powerful and influential nations in the world.

However, with the time to nominate a candidate approaching, there has been some concern that the Republicans, and indeed a large percentage of up-to-date Americans, see him as a joke. Some even believe that the Republican Party will soon be tearing itself apart in an attempt to derail Trump’s hard-earned, well- deserved nomination.

If any of this is true, I would take the truly Trump view of things and say, who needs the Republican Party? Just give me my nomination and let everything crash and be swept away in the wind!


Leave a Comment