Archive for April, 2016

Responses to Brussels Attack – Donald Trump Proposes to Send U.S. Citizens to Mars, Ted Cruz Objects

Opinions April 1, 2016 at 1:02 am 0 comments

Sunnie Yi Ning ’18 Assistant News Editor On March 22, the International Airport in Brussels, Belgium was attacked by ISIS terrorists. In response, the forerunning Republican candidate Donald Trump proposed to send U.S. citizens to Mars, a newly discovered potentially habitable place for the humans. Ted Cruz, the Republican alternativeRead More

Tim Cook – How to Shock The World Through An Hour-long Keynote

Opinions April 1, 2016 at 12:58 am 0 comments

Sophia Zhu ’18 Opinions Editor On March 21, the latest Apple Event received a great amount of attention from people all over the world. No one could wait to witness the historic event that would reveal brand-new, revolutionary innovations in the field of information technology. To meet such high expectations,Read More

I Am A ‘Wooden American,’ Not A ‘Dummy’

Opinions April 1, 2016 at 12:54 am 0 comments

Xander (Alex) Seymour ’17 Contributing Writer  So for those of you who don’t know me, my name is Xan, short for Xander Seymour. I am the alter ego of Alex Seymour, class of ’17 and currently abroad. I have been subjected to hearing her peers refer to me as aRead More

All Hail President Trump

Opinions April 1, 2016 at 12:49 am 0 comments

Emily Kowalik ’18 Assistant Opinions Editor With every passing stateprimary, Donald Trump comes closer to becoming the Republican nominee for President. With such a longed-for event almost confirmed, I thought it would be nice to go back and delve into nostalgic moments to remind us why we all want TrumpRead More

Bipartisan Coalition Dictator Revealed to Be Actual Daughter of Republican Mitt Romney

News April 1, 2016 at 12:41 am 0 comments

Katie Hitchcock-Smith ’17 & Jenna Pepe ’19 Contributing Writers  The Sophian can now reveal the truth behind the painfully obvious political agenda and clandestine ancestry of Katie Hitchcock-Smith, tyrant of the Smith College Bipartisan Coalition. Hitchcock- Smith, whose mission is to “elevate political discourse on our campus,” has now beenRead More

Heavy Snow Ruins Picnic Day

Uncategorized April 1, 2016 at 12:39 am 0 comments

Julia Xia ’19 News Editor On Monday morning, the ringing of bells in Wilson House signaled the start of Picnic Day. This classic Smith College tradition celebrates the first official day of spring; on this day, all classes are cancelled and students are encouraged to throw their own outdoor picnicRead More

Smithie Injures Three Walking to Class, Faulted For Not Looking Up From Phone

News April 1, 2016 at 12:32 am 0 comments

Nora Turriago’16 Staff Writer This Monday, Sasha Lewpie ’16 walked to her 10:30 a.m. class in Seelye, as she does twice a week. However, her walk took a turn for the worst as she collided into three Smith- ies, giving them injuries ranging from a broken arm to a bruisedRead More

Opening of Paradise Road Apartments Delayed For One Year

News April 1, 2016 at 12:25 am 0 comments

Maryellen Stohlman-Vanderveen’19 Assistant Copy Editor Due to unforeseen circumstances, the opening of the Paradise Road Apartments has been delayed an additional year. “I’m outraged,” one senior said. “This was my last chance to actually live somewhere nice on this campus, and now it’s ruined.” The Paradise Road Apartments are toRead More

Smith Converts Davis Lawn Into Chicken Coop to Support Demand For Hard-boiled Eggs

News April 1, 2016 at 12:03 am 0 comments

Hannah Elbaum ’19 Copy Editor Students have recently noticed the recurring appearance of hard-boiled eggs at breakfast in every Smith dining hall. In an effort to ensure students are meeting their recommended daily protein intake and to provide on-the-go options, Dining Services has taken to hard-boiling several hundred eggs eachRead More